There have been many times in my life when I have questioned God. The questions often arise during times of pain and suffering. Basically, I’m wondering “why?” During my most recent stroll through the valley of pain and despair, one question was posed to me that made me stop and think. The question was this – how has God worked in my life? I would like to share with you how I came to answer this question.
Now I am not a person who has ever had a vision or dream from God. Nor have I ever had a tangible miracle occur in my life. I have not had an impossible prayer answered in an extraordinary way that could only be explained by God’s intervention. So, to answer this question I first turned to other prayers that have been answered in one way or another. These entailed prayers and subsequent blessings of a wonderful wife and marriage, completing my graduate schooling, my wife and I getting our current jobs, etc. Such examples illustrated the indirect working of God in my life since my wife didn’t beam down out of heaven (although she is quite angelic), my diploma didn’t materialize on my office desk, and so on. To cite such instances as examples of God working in my life, however, requires a presuppositional view of God’s sovereignty in these matters. In other words, in order to cite my wonderful wife as evidence that God worked in my life I must first believe that God is sovereign over every area of my life and that He orchestrated our meeting and sustains our marriage.
I have to be honest and say that in the midst of my valley of pain such examples seemed very weak to me. Would these examples really mean anything to an unbeliever who doesn’t acknowledge God at all? A lot of unbelievers have good marriages, nice families, good jobs, etc. To them, it was their own ability that acquired these things. Why would it not be the same for me? After all, it could have been my good looks and charm that won my wife over; it could have been my own intelligence that earned the diploma; it could have been our successful careers that lead to our new jobs. Even though these are arrogant statements and do not represent what I believe, nevertheless they do have equal explanatory power. Or, perhaps my understanding of God’s sovereignty is mistaken. Maybe He doesn’t have any control over the events of my life, in which case the latter reason would explain all of what I was crediting to God.
After some more consideration, though, I was able to find one proof of God’s working in my life that could not also be explained by my own abilities. That evidence is my coming to faith in Jesus Christ. You see, in the midst of my valley I saw how rebellious towards God that I really could be. My flesh wanted nothing to do with God; I was willfully defiant and angry towards Him. There is nothing in my natural self that would or could seek after God. That experience reminded me that apart from His work in my heart by the Holy Spirit, there is no way at all that I would even want to love Christ. Romans 3 clearly outlines the depths of my rebellion prior to His grace. My wanting to follow God is the one thing that could not be equally explained by my own abilities. My coming to faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior is the one undeniable proof of God’s working in my life.
The job, the diploma, even my wonderful marriage are just transitory and earthly. There have been Christians who have lived and experienced absolutely none of these things, let alone any miracles. Yet, God still undeniably worked in their lives by changing their hearts, calling them out of their rebellion, and answering their cry for help. That is the one thing no person has the ability within themselves to do. And now I have a much greater appreciation to Christ for my salvation – the undeniable proof of God’s love for me and His activity in my life.
